you lick your lips driving home from her father’s house
and you know
if you could have her
your body would be truthful
and all the terrible things that followed your birth
would be negated—
even the flaw you will not admit is always on your mind
this is amazing
Distinguished GentlePug Makes Scene at Company Picnic
An affluent pug named Moose (of the Newport Mooses) has been accused of harassment and general misconduct during a recent corporate retreat.
“He was walking funny, slobbering on everyone,” says Fran Miller, an employee of CalStar, the boat insurance firm that held the picnic. “I’m not sure if he was drunk, but he was definitely acting inappropriately.”
Attorneys for Moose, who is a senior vice president at CalStar, maintain that his friendliness might have been misconstrued, but there was certainly no wrongdoing. The pug himself could not be reached for comment.
Submitted by Adam Berberich.
A shark gives a diver a high-five. Eli Martinez was interacting with the lemon shark in the balmy waters off the coast of The Bahamas. Eli, who works as the editor of Shark Diving magazine, said: “This particular shark I had encountered before. She is very laid-back so I knew if I held my hand out she would come over. At first she was swimming straight towards me, but I didn’t expect her to turn at the last moment. She tapped my palm with her fin like we were high-five-ing.” Picture: CATERS NEWS
the single greatest thing ever. I would never stop showing people this picture.
Picture: Imago / Barcroft Media (via Pictures of the day: 16 February 2012 - Telegraph)
I aspire to this kind of stache
3.5-Month-Old Polar Bear Cub Takes Toronto Zoo by Storm
A yet-unnamed polar bear cub, who was rejected by his mother at birth, has survived to the robust age of 3.5 months and made his debut at the Toronto Zoo. The adorable fuzzball sure is playful, and exhibits no signs of one day growing into a bloodthirsty, seal-killing machine.
You can enter a contest to name the little guy. May we suggest “White Thunder.”
The cutest thing ever
RUMOR: Hamster Gym Chain to File for IPO
Wheelz, Inc., the parent corporation of a chain of over 450 hamster gyms around the United States, will file for an initial public offering on Monday, according to rumors reported by the Wall Street Journal. The paper reports that the company will seek to raise $10 million at a valuation of $100 million in the offering set for June. The stock will trade on the NYSE.
Socks McKenzie (pictured above), the charismatic founder of Wheelz, is thought to own approximately 26% of the company and will become one of the five richest hamsters in America.
Via captainmcdan.
French Bulldog Institutionalized After Belly Rub Overdose
Russell, a 5-year-old French Bulldog living in London, was hospitalized Saturday night after an intense belly rub session caused him to “wig out,” according to sources.
Russell is now resting comfortably while his family seeks counseling options to address his belly rub addiction.
Submitted by Caitlin Cannon.
